Ok, so I wouldn't write about this if it wasn't so momentous:
I deactivated Facebook for 24 hours, the night before last.
I wasn't spending an insane amount of time on it or anything. Or even finding it difficult to get off. However, for some personal reasons, I decided to deactivate, and disconnect from the world in general for a day.
I must say that it was liberating. It felt good not being a slave to the social wires that seemed to continuously tug at my brain, no matter what I was doing. I moved more freely, and thought less about things that had been bothering me.
But I thought more about Facebook. And that's when it hit me: I have a soft addiction for Facebook, and the Internet in general.
As I was doing my daily laps in the pool, I began thinking about my routine last semester. I left my house about 20 minutes early to get to campus, so that I could go to Starbucks, get my tall, non-fat mocha with whip, go into the faculty lounge, and check "my stuff". And if traffic held me up, I would get seriously upset that I couldn't have my "computer" time. Oh, and if things got busy during the day for some reason? And I couldn't check my e-mail in the middle of the day? Oh forget about it! One time, I got so irate, as I was squealing "I haven't checked my e-mail all day, this is ridiculous!" I realized how ridiculous I was sounding.
So is it an addiction really, or do I just cherish my "me" time at the beginning of the day? Possibly, it's a little bit of both.
But I must say that when I reactivated last night, it felt good. I only stayed on for minutes, but the access itself was reassuring.
I felt connected again. And if you think about that, that is a scary thing.
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