The things we write...

I found myself on the floor with four 8 year-olds yesterday during recess. I'm supposed to be overseeing the children as they play, however one thing led to the next, and I found myself on the floor, legs crossed, being asked a million questions about my music.

"You write songs?"

"Yes, I do."

"About what?"

"Many things."

"Like?"

"Like...love, loss, people, forgiveness..."

"What do you write about love?"

It was a fairly simple question. But I really struggled to answer it. I told them I write about love and how beautiful it is, but also about how some people don't know how to take care of it, so we have to surround ourselves with people who appreciate it as much as we do. It seemed like such simple answer to give, and I reassessed it when I gave it to the girls, to make sure it came out right. As they dispersed back into mayhem, I got up and thought about what I had said.

It's funny.

Why do we give our hearts to people who don't deserve it? Furthermore, why do we hope that people will change? Or imagine them to be different?

I went back last night, and poured over my lyrics, reading things like "I wish you well" and "So easy for you to walk away" and "words are nothing but a way to exhale" and even my most recent work, "as soon as we peel back the covering, we see something that is ugly, or missing, or incomplete." And then it hit me. I write about how people don't take care of love. And my message is to stay away from those kinds of people. And yet...I don't do that.

Whether it's knowingly, or unknowingly, I gravitate towards people who cause pain. And it made me wonder. Is it because that feeds my creative energy? And people are more likely to be touched by pain than love in music, because suffering is the human condition? Or do I have my own issues that I need to deal with?

Maybe both?

I don't know.