%$#@^&*%

Two things have irked me within the past 24 hours.

The first is how people are genetically programmed to disappoint you. I'm serious! Don't you know that one person that you keep hoping would change, but never does? Instead, you are provided with excuses in the form of pseudo-valid reasons, empty apologies, and if you are REALLY lucky, a slick turning of the tables to make it seem like it's YOUR fault for even thinking of feeling the way that you do, about whatever the hell it is. What irks me the most is my undying belief in the greater good, in the philosophy that "someday, they will come around." Talk about fool me twice. Or a hundred times, actually.

Second, I am severely SEVERELY upset with the constant back and forth between myself and people that shall remain nameless. I am exhausted by the mere circumstances that we find ourselves in, and drained by the effort it takes to not only make myself feel okay, but to make them feel okay too. And I care too much. Which makes it worse. I think that's what makes it so hard.

Such an incomplete jumble of thoughts. But there it is, as messy in it's virtual nature as it is in my head. Bleh.